Translations for men

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…

IT’S A GUY THING

Translated:* There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.

CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?

Translated:* Why isn’t it already on the table?

UH HUH, SURE, HONEY, OR YES, DEAR

Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN

Translated:* I have no idea how it works.

TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.

Translated:* I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.

THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.

Translated:* Are you still talking?

YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.

Translated:* I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car

I’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.

OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.

Translated:* I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.

HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.

Translated:* And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.

I CAN’T FIND IT.

Translated:* It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.

WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?

Translated:* What did you catch me at?

I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.

Translated:* No one will ever see us alive again.

WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.

Translated:* I make the messes; she cleans them up.

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