Valentine’s Day will see the most fruitful exploration of your love life that you’ve ever previously had. New ideas will be yours, wild thoughts will spawn, and seemingly impossible physical acts will be your reward. If that’s true, any pictures you might have of the events would be hot and this horoscoper would happily receive such visual treats.
When not trying to twist your body into shapes previously only seen in the alphabet, you may also experience tingling sensations in places where skin ought not be so inflamed. These feelings are likely to lead to further complications later if not dealt with immediately, so please try to visit a clinic. Please don’t take photographs of this, or if you do please avoid emailing them in. My eyes will burn and my soul will die.
If you can’t have fun today of all days, then fun will not be your friend for two score and ten more nights. You have been advised.