Valentines leo 2016

Lions, both male and female, have enormous private parts. This may be relevant to you today, since as a Leo you are presumably similarly endowed.


When life throws you a bone, you are expected to fetch. Remember this as it may become important at some point today, especially in the workplace. If you are at all concerned for either your safety or well-being, protection can range from the prophylactic to the iron bar.


If you’re at all unsure of whether your love interest is reciprocal, please bear this in mind before trying to climb on top of them. Rejection can often offend, but if you’re the type that’s so thick skinned and thick headed that you need to be prised apart from the object of your love, this probably won’t offend you in the slightest. For what it’s worth, I once knew a Leo who would want love only after dancing crazily for a few hours, followed by an hour and a half of drinking cider, then a quick curry, a game of scrabble, a quick phone call to the parents, and a nice hot shower. That’s probably not worth very much but it just goes to show you why I know nothing at all about horoscopes, or love.

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