How often must you have heard that all Scorpio horoscopes have a sting in their tail? Very often? Oh well, at least if you’re going to be reading a horoscope about Valentine’s day you might as well have a few cliches thrown in, too. After all, what are the chances of this horoscope being accurate? Is it really possible that 1 in 12 people who share a birthday between the Scorpio dates will share the same fate? Does that sound at all logical?
Suddenly today will feel like a veil has been lifted from you – as though things will suddenly seem to make sense that haven’t previously. Is love round the corner? Who knows. But what you do know is that scheming little [swear word] is going to get a come-uppance such as hasn’t been seen outside of a Franz Kafka novel. You’re going to make things so twisted and strange that everyone’s going to forget it’s Valentine’s and start thinking it’s the opposite of Christmas. Yes, that’s right – there’s an opposite of Christmas.
Sorry, I got up really early this morning and I’m tired. You see, my boss made me work late last night and I’m jiggered. My brain’s not up to writing horoscopes that either make sense or give you much in return. Look, how about this for a deal: I’ll say everything’s going to be peachy for you today and you’re going to… I don’t know – maybe have sex a couple of times, or win a lottery scratch card game. Then I can maybe have a couple of beers then go back to bed. Deal? You’re a love.