Why E-mail Is Like a Penis

1. Some people have it, some don’t. 2. Those who have it would be devastated if it were cut off. 3. It can be up or down. It’s more fun when it’s up, but it makes it hard to get any real work done. 4. Once you’ve started playing with it, it’s hard to stop. Some people would just play with it all day if they didn’t have work to do. 5. If you don’t apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread viruses. 6. It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. 7. We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size and influence warrant. 8. If you’re not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble. 9. It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself, “Why on earth did I do that?” It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will do the same damn dumb things it did before.

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