Worst Thing To Say On A First Date

I used to have a real bad bedwetting problem … but the last couple of weeks I’ve gotten it under control. 

 

I know we just met and this might seem a little sudden … but could I borrow five hundred dollars? 

 

Go ahead and Super Size – I found spare change in the sofa today. 

 

Something tells me that you’re very special … but with medication I can usually ignore it. 

 

I don’t see my ex-girlfriend that much … thanks to the U.S. Department of Justice.” 

 

Do you want to play doctor? That’ll be five hundred dollars. 

 

Wait till my wife hears about this! 

 

I had a good time tonight. I’d love to see you again in six to eight months with good behavior.

 

I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired. 

 

People say I remind them of Eddie Haskell. 

 

I used to come here all the time with my ex. 

 

I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it. 

 

Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn’t hear my voice on the answering machine every hour. 

 

I like clay. It’s mushy. 

 

I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look. 

 

And I won that trophy in the inter-fraternity belching contest. 

 

I know you said you don’t eat anything with a face. But a good butcher will cut that part off for you if you ask. 

 

It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.

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