YOU know you need a Different Lawyer when…

* You met him in prison.

* During your initial consultation he tries to sell you Amway.

* He tells you that his last good case was a Budweiser.

* When the prosecutors see who your lawyer is, they high-five each other.

* He picks the jury by playing duck-duck-goose.

* He tells you that he’s never told a lie.

* He asks a hostile witness to pull my finger.

* A prison guard is shaving your head.

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