–Every story you tell begins with, “We were really high and…”

–You buy your Visine (eye-drops) at a wholesale club

–You’re a Bob Marley fan and you don’t even like reggae

– Mosquitoes get a buzz after attacking you.

–Someone asks you for a dime and you tell them you’re out of herb

–The High Times centerfold turns you on

–Every vacation you wind up in Amsterdam or Jamaica

–Your friends call you Smokey

–Your parents call you Smokey

–Smoking resi on a daily basis is essential to keep your bowl from getting clogged

–Your cigarette gets way too heavy

–You think everyone is staring at you and there’s nobody in the room

–All you want to do is drink & smoke & eat & smoke & chill & smoke…

–Your room turns into your grow room

–The lab technician testing your urine sample gets high off the fumes

–Your best friend just happens to be your dealer

–You vote Harry Browne for president

–A friend without weed is a friend in need

–Your bumper sticker reads “Honk for Hemp”

–Someone finds a roach in your room, it’s not a bad thing

–Your bong becomes an extension of your arm

–You went to a Hempfest

–You can’t remember the Hempfest

–Your video collection consists of endless Cheech and Chong sequels

–Your too phoned to stone home

–Your creativity is only used when you have nothing to smoke out of

–You can ask for weed in other languages

–The mind is a terrible thing to waste, but you don’t mind being wasted

–Sorting out life’s problems, the answer is always roll, lick and smoke

–You want to have kids named Herb, Bud and MaryJane

–You were born caucasian but all your friends assume you’re Chinese

–Your clothes are full of burnholes from dropped joints

–You learn about the KGB in history class and all you can think about are green sticky buds

–If an autobiography of your life was made into a movie, it would be called “Waiting to Inhale”

–You own too many pairs of Birkenstocks

–Breakfast consists of a spliff, some OJ, and a bowl packed with Fruity Pebbles

–You smoke your screens and save your roaches

–You clean out your car and smoke the shake you found on your car mats

–You forget your friends’ names

–You forget your own name

–Your motto in life is “Why ask Why? Just Get High”

–You call people you don’t even like to hang out with, just because you know they’ve got buds

–You roll your blunts fatter than your 40oz

–You begin hearing knocks at the door and CD skips that aren’t there

–You find yourself in the kitchen eating everything but Spam…then you eat the Spam


When you have to hold onto the grass to keep from falling off the earth.

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