You Know your Old when…

In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
You and your teeth don’t sleep together. People call at 9 p.m. and ask, Did I wake you?
You begin every other sentence with, Nowadays…
The clothes you’ve put away until they come back in style…come back in style.
Things you buy now won’t wear out.
There’s nothing left to learn the hard way.
Getting a little action means you don’t need to take a laxative.
When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
When happy hour is a nap.
When you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
You are 17 around the neck, 42 around the waist, 94 around the golf course.
When you’re told to act your own age, and you die.

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