YOU MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF…

* He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, Ask again later.

* Every time you draw the Death card, she yells Go Fish!

* Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week.

* His idea of an out of body experience involves whipped cream and women’s clothing.

* His spoon bending requires two pliers.

* Sign in window: As Seen on ’60 Minutes.

* During card-reading, asks if you want to hit or stand.

* Insists that your astrological sign is The Armadillo.

* Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom.

* Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia.

* Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.

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