You Should Stop drinking coffee if…

You chew on other people’s fingernails.

You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.

You short out motion detectors.

Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.

You help your dog chase its tail.

All your kids are named “Joe”.

You name your cats “Cream” and “Sugar.”

You get drunk just so you can sober up.

You pour coffee on a choking victim because CPR stands for “Coffee Provides Resuscitation.”

You can jump-start your car without cables.

You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.

You ski uphill.

You walk ten miles on your treadmill before you realize it’s not plugged in.

You channel surf faster without a remote.

You’re so wired, your ears pick up AM radio.

You can outlast the Energizer bunny.

Your doctor tells you, your blood type is COFFEE.

The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.

Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.

You answer the door before people knock.

Your morning cup of Coffee is so strong it wakes up the neighbors!

You think on the eighth day God created coffee.

You look at energy drinks and laugh really really loud!

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